Home > Articles > Perfection or Work-in-Progress?

Perfection or Work-in-Progress?

Life IS More than One Answer

By Chris Dunmire, CurrentLiving.com

I woke up this morning feeling disappointed with myself. I was ruminating over some choices I made over the last few days that I knew were not for my highest good. I was, in effect, engaging the low-energy feelings of guilt and remorse and punishing myself for something that I could not reverse. Life goes on.

I know this simple truth intellectually, but there is a part of me that pulls out the magnifying glass of harsh judgment and reproves the choices I’ve made until I make a deal with myself that in the future, I will never, ever, repeat such imperfect, unwise choices again. Such is the cycle that I occasionally meet after the fact, after too much thinking, after obsessing over the idea that there is “only one right way” to move through life, and that I once again failed to walk a perfect path.

Perfection in the Eyes of Men

Where did the idea of “perfection” enter into my life? Like many people, I had a strong foundation of black-and-white thinking instilled in me from an early age from a rigorous religious upbringing. This brand of faith didn’t promote a literal heaven or hell, but it did implant the inevitability that all creation would one day become physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually perfect, and that until that time came, it was in a constant state of imperfection, which in reality translated into not being good enough. For who?

On top of that, there was only one “right way” to interpret the tenets of the faith, to think and behave, and whatever current understanding that was, if you weren’t following it with all of your faith and might, you fell short of the mark. Thus, perfectly following the law to the letter was not only expected, but the only acceptable way to please the grandness of all.

That’s a lot to shoulder, especially at an early age. I moved through my entire childhood looking through these lenses, until my mid-20s when I began to develop the critical thinking skills to challenge this belief system. Nonetheless, it’s influenced much of my life, and even now, the residue of this kind of programming does not record over easily.

Shades of Gray's Anatomy

Challenging beliefs I have embraced for decades is an ongoing challenge in itself and takes not only courage, but honesty. Asking myself why I believe what I believe and comparing it to my personal experiences as they unfold in my adult life has done a lot to make evaluating and sorting through reasonable expectations of a lifelong journey easier.

The idea of ‘life being imperfect’ is something I’ve been thinking long and hard about lately. On a soul level, I know that all of life is a work-in-progress. No matter how much we evolve, change, grow, and improve, it only takes us to the “next level” in which we gain more clarity and information about how to change, grow, and improve some more. I believe that the majority of humankind doesn’t get to a certain point in life just to say “Okay, I’m finished.” No, we want to keep going, to keep growing. To keep creating, to keep learning. To keep finding, to keep seeking. Thus, equating “perfect” with “finished” doesn’t seem to fit.

Everything around us seems to support the work-in-progress nature of life. Observing the seasons and the growth cycles of plants and animals (including humans) shows that everything is living dynamically. Time and space keeps moving. Even rocks are works-in-progress. How does a small pebble grow into a large stone? How does a stream turn into a river?

It is late-February in the Midwest. The first day of spring is less than a month away, but it is still snowing where I live. As I look out my office window I see flurries of angel-white snow landing softly on the blanket of white snow in my yard. A few feet away, the fresh flurries dust over the black, dirty slush on the street. While I look at nature metaphorically in this moment, I imagine the clean and dirty snow mixing together at the edge of my driveway — creating shades of gray — where it is neither black nor white. Perhaps this is nature’s way of choosing a third option. Instead of just A and B, it chooses C. Will it regret the decision tomorrow? No, because in this work-in-progress context, it is the perfect answer for this particular space in time.

Wrapping this up, it would be satisfying to say that I am no longer disappointed over the choices I’ve made in the last few days. In time this will be true and I will move on. Gratefully, one thing I can affirm is that the flurries outside have given me more than just a welcome view. They’ve given me further insight into the knowing that there is more than one answer for every situation. Notice how I didn’t say “right”. •

© 2007 Chris Dunmire, CurrentLiving.com. All rights reserved. (02/26/07) Please do not duplicate this article elsewhere without my permission.

About the Author
Chris Dunmire is creatively engaged in life as an artist, writer, humorist, and publisher of the popular Creativity Portal Web site. She's trained as a creativity coach with Eric Maisel, Ph.D., and develops projects and playbooks to encourage creative thinking, artistic expression, and play in people of all ages. Learn more about Chris's books at CreativeSlush.com.