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The Beach

Somehow, coming full circle.

By Chris Dunmire, CurrentLiving.com

A few weeks ago I found myself walking barefoot in the sand at small beach where I had learned how to swim when I was four years old. The beach is part of a 27-acre lake, one of several populating a private midwest camping resort my family frequented during weekends and summers between the 1970s and 1990s.

As a kid, I swam often in this lake, uninhibited by the seaweed and creatures I thought stayed clear of the roped-off section, until one day when I was 9 or 10 and encountered a fish swimming in the shallow part next to my legs looking at me with its beady eyes. From then on, I swam at the pool.

I pulled off my shirt and shorts from over my bathing suit and sat down in the sand, gazing out at the water under the high noon sun, covering myself under a big, brightly-colored beach towel. I sat and thought about my childhood years playing at this beach — courageous, uninhibited tomboyish me, who swam in the deep end in cut-off shorts and a t-shirt; eager in waiting at the water’s edge playing in the sand during the hourly 10-minute breaks. I remember how easy it was for me to be caught up in the experience of living fully in the moment without a care in the world.

My skin, now baking in the sun, begged for cool reprieve. So I knotted up my towel and slowly rose from the sand. Adjusting my suit and dusting off my rear, I made my way to the lulling shore and stepped inward. It was cold, but I kept stepping deeper until the water was up to my waist. Then, in a quick bold moment, I closed my eyes and dove in, submerging my entire body into the cold watery deep.

I swam under for as long as one held breath would take me and then emerged through the water’s surface with a splash. I looked up at the cloudy blue sky and smelled the seaweed and sand wafting through the air just as I always had. For a few moments it was like nothing changed in 30 years and I was that same little girl from long ago: curious, full of wonder, and still wary of beady-eyed fish.

I still don't know if my day at the beach brought me full-circle to a place I have known before; or to a place that I long to be. What I do know is that this seeming spiral of reconnection to an earlier version of myself brings with it a feeling of home. And that feels good. •

© 2010 Chris Dunmire, CurrentLiving.com. All rights reserved. (7/7/10) Please do not duplicate this article elsewhere without my permission.

About the Author | More by Chris Dunmire
Chris Dunmire is engaged in life as an artist, writer, seeker, and publisher of the popular creativity Web site Creativity-Portal.com. Learn more about Chris and her creative projects at ChrisDunmire.com.