Hooray, You Failed!

By Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach

So you vowed to make some changes — develop healthier habits, say no to unhealthy habits. You put some plans into place. You get going, fueled by momentum and positive feelings; maybe you're starting to see some of the results of your work. Then, after awhile, before you know it, it's over. YOU FAILED — HOORAY!

Here are some quotes I've gathered about "failure" — there's lots of wisdom here!

You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down. Mary Pickford (1893 - 1979)

You always pass failure on the way to success. Mickey Rooney (1920 - )

As painful as it can be ("Don't touch the stove. It's hot!"), failure is amazingly fast as a teaching aid. In fact life could be described as a failure-rich learning environment. Whitworth, Kimsey-House & Sandahl

These authors, of "Co-Active Coaching: New skills for coaching people toward success in work and life", also point out the all-important difference between failing at something (which, let's face it, we do) and being a failure (which, let's face it, we are not!).

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat. Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931)

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

A minute's success pays the failure of years. Robert Browning (1812 - 1889)

Don't be discouraged by a failure. It can be a positive experience. Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterwards carefully avoid. John Keats (1795 - 1821)

Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have. Louis E. Boone

Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't as all. You can be discouraged by failure — or you can learn from it. So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because, remember that's where you will find success. Thomas J. Watson

It is a mistake to suppose that men succeed through success; they much oftener succeed through failures. Precept, study, advice, and example could never have taught them so well as failure has done. Samuel Smiles

And finally:

Don't lose your confidence if you slip, be grateful for a pleasant trip. And pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. Jerome Kern & Dorothy Fields

You can go two ways after a failure — "WOE IS ME!" or "WHAT NOW?". As my coaching clients would tell you, questions are where you always find the gold. And, as a bonus, they're also where you always find the answers.

If you've had a set-back, slip-up or failure with your self-care plan — congratulations! It means you tried something! It also means you've gotten some important lessons. •

© Copyright 2005, Genuine Coaching Services.

03/23/05