Learning to make time
for success
By Michele Batz
When it comes to running a household,
there are a series of tasks that
are never finished because they must be done over and over again.
Vacuuming the floor, cleaning the bathrooms,
doing the laundry, buying
groceries, cooking, making lunches, taking out the garbage, and mowing
the lawn are all chores that need to be done on a day-to-day or
week-to-week basis.
At the beginning of a relationship, people
fall into a routine for getting
these tasks done. Usually, if one person is staying at home, he or she
assumes the majority of the domestic tasks. If both partners work, the
tasks should be evenly divided. But quite often, during the course of a
relationship, the division becomes unbalanced, with one person doing
more than the other.
This imbalance evolves for a number of reasons.
One person may experience a temporary increase in workload, leading
the other to take
over some of their tasks. When a woman goes on maternity leave she
may assume almost all of the household tasks and take care of the new
baby. When she returns to work outside the home, she may continue to
do most household jobs. If either partner is laid off or has a sabbatical,
he or she may assume a larger role at home, which persists even after the
return to work.
Lack of communication
This imbalance is usually not a deliberate effort to avoid
doing a fair
share, but rather is the result of a lack of communication between
partners.
If chores are split unevenly in your household,
you need to work to
re-establish balance. What you do inside the household is usually a
reflection of how your parents divided up household tasks. It is important
to understand your partner's background before you try to balance the
workload.
How is this done?
Talk with your partner in a non-confrontational manner. The best
way to gain cooperation
is to write up a list of all the
household duties, inside and out and start by saying, "I need your help.
I
am having a hard time getting everything done." Take out your list. Ask
your partner what he or she expects of you, and then tell your partner
what you need from him or her. Go over the list and ask which tasks
your partner prefers doing. Do this same process with you children and
why may you ask to do all this?
You will have time for yourself, instead
of doing all the chores! Most of
us have time in our schedules to exercise and eat properly if we manage
our time correctly. Are you willing to make changes in your life to get the
time? Change can be difficult, especially for people who are used to
pleasing others and putting their own needs last. When you are constantly
called on to fix other people's problems, you help neither yourself nor
them in the long run. They will never have to face the consequences of
their poor planning, and you will never be able to reach your goals. You
will be amazed at how easy it is to manage your time more effectively
once you start choosing who gets to use it.
Improve self-esteem
Another benefit to effective time management is increase
self-esteem. Being able to express your wishes and avoiding situations
that cause you
stress will enhance your well-being.
Ten Steps to Success:
- Establish your priorities and make appointments
with yourself in your
day planner.
- Highlight tasks or appointments in your day
planner that you must be
complete that day, including eating properly and exercising.
- Look for ways to incorporate more exercise
into your daily routine. Every little bit counts.
- Practice saying the word "no."
- Be firm and do not apologize for problems that are not your
own.
- Don't feel pressured into saying yes, if
you are not sure how a task will
affect the rest of your schedule.
- Identify your own personal time thieves and
evaluate why you say yes
to their repeated demands for your time.
- Write a list of everything that needs to
be done outside and inside the
home. Have a family meeting to discuss the household duties and allow
others to choose what tasks they want to do each week.
- Post the list and review it regularly.
- Do not revert to completing other people's
tasks unless there is a
specific reason to do so and they are make aware of your help. •
© 2004 Michele Batz
 About the Author
Michele Batz has an extensive 25 year career in sports education. She writes her own column for a Chicagoland newspaper and for eFitness.com and eDiets.com. Her book — What's Holding You Back? A Woman's Beginning Guide to Fitness is available through Amazon.com.
2004
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