Life 101 For the Young and Young at Heart!
By Caren A. Adams
blaming others for your shortcomings and failings in life.
What ever happened in the past is not a prediction of what
happen in the future. Take control of you, your thoughts, and
your actions, so you may do something positive about your future
There have been situations where people stepped,
and even stomped me to the ground, both mentally and physically.
It was not until
evaluating why this was happening when an epiphany happened, a
clarity I never had before; I was allowing these negative people
and things to occur in my life. All the time, blaming others
for their words and actions, and then the truth hit me like a
ton of bricks. If I did not want others to take advantage of
me, then I should remove myself from their presence, either mentally
or physically. It is hard to say this to someone, more so to
children who have no control over their circumstances, but then
again, maybe they actually do have control to some extent. Talking
to their teachers, extended family, or neighbors, calling the
police or child services for help is a start. How do you convey
to anyone that he has the power to do anything if he does not
have a strong mind and willing heart? Control your life from
within yourself—it is that simple. If you do not believe
have control, then remove yourself physically from the situation.
If you must remain in a situation, then cut off negative people
and their actions in your mind; find a way to drown them out,
as if you were tuning out commercials when watching television.
When bonus time had arrived, I overheard our supervisor telling
our manager to exclude my job function from the bonus pool by
transferring it to another department. Some people are mean spirited,
and you cannot help them, just pray for them. I did not receive
a bonus that year, allowing our supervisor to receive an even
larger bonus. Everyday, as I passed our supervisor in the halls
I would repeat this to myself, “You mean absolutely nothing
me, and this is only a stepping stone on the way to a greater
life that God has promised me.” I could not change what happened
but I could change my response. Convincing myself that it was
a learning opportunity, one that would make me more humble, to
learn not to react negatively to others, to learn how to ignore
some people and things, and to look forward to a better future.
Take this truth to the next step, and you release blame and not
allow it to consume your life by dwelling on its negativity but
go on to take control of your life and actions to make you a better
How do you do this?
Changing the blame from them to me by questioning
myself as to what I was doing to deserve this. Thinking it must
I did. When I answered the question, I realized I was not doing
anything. Therein laid the problem of who was responsible. Questioning,
allowed me to evaluate other options I could use to change my
circumstances. The options were to remove myself from the situation
or stick to it but change my perspective. Instead of hoping for
people or the circumstances to change, which were unreliable
take the steps necessary to circumvent the problem. Never try
to change a person. Offering suggestions may help, but ultimately
I have control over my destiny, rather than the molds others
set for me.
Life 101 For the Young
and Young at Heart!
Success is the best revenge!
To the naysayer, to all those who said you wouldn’t
anything. To all those who treated you as if you wouldn’t
to anything. To all those who acted as if you wouldn’t amount
to anything. To those who acted as if they were better than you
were. To those who thought they were better than you were. To
those who mistreated you in anyway. To all those who boasted
to you about themselves or their belongings. To all those who
thought they were more beautiful or handsome than you were. To
those who disrespected you in any form. To anyone who had an
ounce of animosity towards you for no apparent reason. To those
who got the better of you on a day when you were down and out.
To those who kicked you while you were down and out. To those
who tried their hardest to make your life a living hell. To those
who abused you in any form—SUCCEED!
We have not reached the pinnacle of success, but
we are definitely on our way through the goals we have established
and continue to accomplish. In terms of education, family, friends
and financial independence, we suppose, we have surpassed many
of the individuals we have had the misfortune of meeting and who
were previously mentioned. Intuition tells us this has created
even more animosity towards us because we did not focus on them
but on the goals and dreams, we have planned and have tediously
pursued. The purpose of any naysayer, otherwise known as “dream
busters,” is to take the spirit from those they encounter,
and by not giving them the satisfaction, you are already ahead
How do you do this?
Whatever goals you have for yourself complete them no matter
how stellar the performance might be, if the journey is on the
road to success then do so, remembering that no dream is too big
for reality. Take those steps in your life to enhance not only
who you are as a person but also those around you. When the naysayer
hears of your success, he will have to, if only for a moment,
reflect on how his behavior has had an impact on your life and
who got the better of the experience. If success is not for you,
then let it be for them—your motivation. •
© Caren A. Adams
About the Author
A. Adams is a freelance writer and the author of “Life
101 For the Young and Young at Heart!” ISBN 1-59457-835-4 (also
in e-book format) at bookstores and
www.amazon.com. email@example.com. 04/16/05