By Charlie Badenhop
Have you ever caught yourself sitting around thinking that if
were "just" a bit different when it comes to this or
would be so much more desirable, wealthy, or good looking? Such
conversations can seem so believable while actually being so
destructive. What would your life be like if you appreciated your
imperfections as the signature of your soul?
Whether you consider yourself to be "perfect" or not,
important topic for most anyone that would like to live a happy
life. It seems to me that many if not most people, feel they are
somehow lacking or imperfect. Because of their belief, they spend
a lot of money, a lot of time, and a lot of anxiety, trying to
achieve a goal that moves further away with every accomplishment.
For instance, you lose quite a lot of weight and now you feel
that the skin on your face seems to be hanging in a strange way.
Or you finally get enough money to buy a new wardrobe, only to
find that the fashion for the upcoming season is radically
different than what you just bought at a discount. I have a young
friend who got his hair cut short for a job interview as an
in-store male model, only to find his potential boss sitting
there with his hair in a pony tail.
Is it really that life is unfair, or is the problem simply that
we are often chasing an image of ourselves that is somehow not
all that real or realistic?! Do you try to make it appear like
you have no flaws? Or do you relish how such flaws add to your
uniqueness? I find in my own life, it is so important to go
beyond the oppositional thinking of right or wrong, good or bad,
and in the process, accept, and fall in love with, who I really
I truly believe that I have a fair share of people friendly
qualities, and yet I know that I still also can be harsh at
times. I know that I can be entertaining and intriguing, and
that does not stop me from also being boring at times. I am
bit of everything, and not all of any one thing. I try to
understand myself as both/and, rather than either/or. I try to
understand myself from an aesthetic that comes from my own heart,
and not from the advertisements I see on TV.
The more I stop trying to be perfect, the more I discover just
how perfect I already am. Does this sound a bit egotistical? I
talking about the perfect imperfections that a potter sees in her
pots. She strives to maintain the soul of what she is making, by
insuring that her pots don't become so perfect that they appear
I remember watching not too long ago, an interview with Robert
Redford. The interviewer wondered out loud, since Redford was
getting older, wouldn't he want to have some cosmetic surgery.
Redford looked a bit surprised by the question. He looked
intently at the interviewer, and then said, "Cosmetic surgery?
my god no! I wouldn't want to erase my soul from my face. I would
rather like to think there is something about me that is somehow
unique. I don't want to look like who I used to be. I want to
look like who I am. "
How about you? Any chance that you are sometimes trying to cover
up your perfection, in an attempt to appear perfect?
There is nothing more special than simply being yourself.
And realizing that any subtraction OR addition,
Would simply take away from who you really are.
Your soul has a signature.
Don't erase it and replace it with someone else's calligraphy.
© 2005 Charlie Badenhop
About the Author
Charlie Badenhop is the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido
instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist.
Benefit from a new self-help Practice every two weeks, by
subscribing to his complimentary newsletter "Pure heart,
simple mind" at www.seishindo.org. 08/09/05